


teach me how to touch

by melanoradrood



Series: Universes Made Just For You And I [13]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Ficlet Collection, First Time, Loss of Virginity, NSFW, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-24 14:18:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoradrood/pseuds/melanoradrood
Summary: Cassian doesn't know what to do, but Jyn knows how to show him. They figure it out together.





	teach me how to touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Draco_sollicitus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_sollicitus/gifts).



> AU: Canon Compliant Post Scarif SMUT  
> Word Count: 4138  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Warnings: It's Porn  
> Prompt: Virgin Cassian by dracosollicitus

They’ve gotten this far before, where his shirt is off, and hers is halfway up her stomach, but they’ve never gone further. They both know where the line is, have discussed their pasts, and she knows all about how little he truly knows, despite being five years older than her. Sex isn’t something he has time for when it comes to pleasure, and when it comes to business, well… he gets this far, extracts what he needs, and is then gone, a shadow in the night, leaving behind a target that is still gasping for air.

Her shirt is still on, and this time, he thinks he’s ready for it to come off.

She knows more than him, so much more, and Cassian is okay with that, he really is. He’s glad that one of them knows something, that she knows how to touch herself, that she’s able to show him how to touch her, but he still feels clumsy, his hands feeling too rough and awkward. She gasps, though, when his calloused fingers run over her hip, and her lips part under him again, pulling him in for another kiss.

Her shirt is off and over her head the second that they pull away for air, and he has touched her before, touched her under her shirt, but never without her shirt there to hide her from his eyes. He wants to look, to touch, to explore, but the light is out, and he can’t see much.

When he mouths at her breast, she ends up just brushing him aside, almost impatient.

“Your pants,” she demands with a huff. “Just push them down so they’re out of the way. I have to take mine off.”

He nods, because he trusts her, and he kicks them past his knees - he thinks they should be off all the way, but she had said to just push them down, wants to do as she says.

Her legs are lifting on either side of him, and he can’t see much in the dark of the room, but she had insisted… Jyn knew best. He was definitely going to trust her on this.

When her legs are on either side of his, he leans down, goes back to kissing her. He’s good at this, great at this, and everything slows down for a minute, their bodies rocking together like they have a hundred times now, it seems. He can feel her, though, without fabric in the way, and he definitely wants to explore her, to touch, to taste.

He might not know a lot about actually having sex, but he’s on a military installation. He has heard the pilots talking about going down for a taste. He knows that they always get their girl off first, talk about how it keeps them coming back for more.

He wants to do that with her, and his hand slides down her side, down her stomach, his fingers searching for-

“What are you doing?” she asks, and she sounds breathless, breathless from his lips, and he shrugs, even if she can’t see it.

“I’m trying to - I know I don’t know how, but I want to try and finger you.”

He can practically feel her stare, knows she is blinking, is processing the words - “But why?”

Cassian doesn’t know how to describe it, but suddenly, this feels really important, even if he doesn’t fully understand. “Because it feels good, to make you feel good, so that you-”

“That’s pointless. You don’t have to waste time doing that.”

Something suddenly doesn't feel right. Nothing about spending time with Jyn could ever be a waste, and nothing about being with her would be pointless. He wants to protest, but then he feels her hand wrapping around his cock, pressing it to her entrance.

“Stop,” he says, and she lets go of him immediately, like her hand is burned, and he pushes himself away.

“What?” she asks, and she’s sitting up, he can tell that much, but he still can’t see anything. “Are you not ready? Cassian, it’s okay if you’re not ready.”

He wants to tell her it’s that, because that would be easier, but the truth is, he is ready. He has been ready, but he doesn’t think they’re on the same page. He wants to enjoy this, wants to experience this, and she seems to be in a rush.

“It’s not that, it’s just… can we slow down?”

He thinks that might be the right words, and then he’s leaning forward, kissing her. Jyn kisses him back, and it’s so soft, so gentle. He thinks back to their first kisses, how rough they had been, how she would push him against a wall, fight with him for control when he was happy to give it up, and he has to wonder…

He knows that he hasn’t had sex, but he has to wonder if what she has had of sex, if it’s the same thing he wants with her.

Is the kind of sex he wants with her even possible?

They’re getting lost again in their kissing, and when his body settles over hers, he grabs at her hand, the one not on her back, and threads their fingers together. He can feel her react, the soft gasp of her lips, and he squeezes her hand, telling her he’s right there as he rocks his hips against her.

She’s wet, wetter than she was before, and he wants to explore that again, let’s go of her hand, and slides his fingers down beside his dick, his fingers finding soft skin with a little hair and all of the wetness he has imagined.

For ten seconds, his fingers slip in, running up and down, the tips brushing against a sensitive bud - and then she’s jerking away from him, the breathy moan fading in the room.

They’re both breathing hard, but he doesn’t move, just waits for her to say something.

“Cassian-”

“Why can’t I touch you?” he asks. He wants to know, to understand. “I want… I thought that was part of sex, touching each other.”

There’s a long moment of nothing but heavy breathing, and then Jyn is sucking in a breath, and- “I don’t know? I just… it’s not normally like that.”

He wants to see her, wants to touch her, and he shifts forward, reaches for the light beside the bed. It turns on, and they both look away from it, the light filling the room. His pants are still around his lower legs, keeping him from moving easily, and she’s reaching down, grabbing her shirt, trying to cover herself.

“And why can’t I see you?”

He’s sort of in love with her… he wants to see her.

The hand on the shirt stops, and then she drops it, drops it back onto the floor before looking at him. His eyes are on her face though, not looking down. He wants to see her, wants to know her, but he wants her to open up to him.

“Jyn… what’s it normally like?”

He gets a shrug in response, but that’s not what he wants right now. He needs it to be verbal, needs her to tell him what it’s like for her.

“I don’t know - you know how war is. It’s normally rushed, have places to be, a quick fuck, and then you move on.”

He gets what that sounds like, has accidentally walked in on it a time or two, but that’s not… “But we’re not in a rush right now. We have all night. Does it  _ have _ to be like that?”

He doesn’t know the answer, but he really hopes it’s a no.

Jyn doesn’t say anything for the longest time, just looks at him, and after a while… he starts to worry. She’s not saying anything, not doing anything, and then he realizes what it is… she’s thinking about what it could be like, thinking about what she has imagined, thinking about something that tells her it could be different.

“Tell me,” he says, and it sounds more like he’s begging than commanding, and she shakes her head, her cheeks going pink.

“It’s absurd. I just… I read this holonovel once, and it was supposed to be romantic, and it-”

“Tell me, please?” he asks again, and this time it’s definitely him begging.

“Well just…” He doesn’t interrupt her again, because he can see it forming in her mind, can see her trying to find the right words. She’s always so careful, picks and chooses what she says so it has meaning, so he waits, watching the blush spread over her skin, trying to not look down.

“So, the man… he’s pretty sure they’re never going to be together again, and he wants to take his time with her, so he pulls her onto his lap to kiss her, and she’s… she’s wearing this wrap skirt thing or something…”

She’s thinking about it again, and Cassian takes the time to kick off his pants, and then shifts himself to sit with his back against the wall. Jyn seems to be lost in thought, like she’s remembering it, and not for the first time, he’s mildly terrified of her brain.

“So, he ends up getting her undressed, and then he’s… he pushes down his pants because he can’t wait to be closer to her to take the time to get them off, and then she’s… well he’s in her, and it feels good, and then they just… slow down.”

He doesn’t know what that means, but it seems to mean something to Jyn.

“And then they just… they kissed and touched and slowly built up speed, and it was… I don't know, it just sounded nice, to not be in a rush.”

He’s not sure if it can be like that either, but he wants it to be.

“I want to touch you,” Cassian says. He knows that she has touched herself, has heard her joke about the fact that she knows herself better than anyone, but he wants to learn too. “But that… I want to try that. Can… Can we?”

It’s the longest ten seconds of his life, just looking at Jyn, and she’s frozen solid, not even blinking, not even breathing - and then she’s nodding, her breaths coming in hard, and he has two seconds before she’s climbing into his lap.

It’s a good thing that his pants are already off, because in seconds, she’s straddling his lap, and his cock is slipping between her folds, running up her slit. He lets out a groan, eyes pinching shut, trying to resist how good it feels, but then Jyn is kissing at his throat, and he loses it.

He knows this isn’t sex, or at least isn’t the sex they’re going for, but he grabs her hips all the same, jerking them to rub himself against her. He’s not doing this right, he can tell just by how  much she’s bouncing, but it feels good to have her heat against him, and he can’t wait to be inside.

“I want to touch you,” he says again, and she huffs against his throat.

“You are touching me,” she insists, and her face pulls back from his skin, giving him a good opening.

“No, I mean like this,” he amends, and he leans down, mouth catching her nipple, and then he sucks.

Her thighs try to clench immediately, but she’s straddling him, and has no option to find some sort of grip. Her hands, previously on his chest, go over his shoulders, and she lets out a high pitched squeal.

He lets go after a moment, waiting to see her reaction, and - 

“The other one,” she demands. “Use your tongue, your teeth, oh fuck, Cassian-”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Within thirty seconds, Jyn is rocking her own hips, trying to find something to grind on, and Cassian is pretty sure he might just cum before he’s even in her. He has to let go of her nipple, moving to the other one to lick at it, before pulling away, trying to slow her down.

“Woah, I’m going to blow,” he groans out, and Jyn laughs, like he’s crazy.

“That’s the point of this,” she insists, and no, no, on that one she’s wrong-

“The point of this is for us to both feel good,” he retorts, and her eyebrows raise slightly in response.

“Cassian…  _ that _ felt good.”

It’s not the same, and they both know it.

“I’m going to make you cum on my cock,” he vows, and the sharp intake of breath she makes tells him that she wants that as much as he does, and he doesn’t know how he’s going to do it… but he’s going to try.

Everything slows down again, and it gives him time to think, to catch up. 

Their lips are caught again, and she’s still rocking her hips slowly, but it’s nothing like before. She’s running her fingers into his hair, over his shoulders, down his back before dragging her nails up, and when she shifts forward a little too far, he realizes  _ just _ how wet she is for him.

“I’m… help me inside of you?” he asks. 

Jyn nods, shifting back down onto his legs, her hand gripping him, and he lets out a hiss. “Already so close, but want you to cum first.”

She snorts in response, she doesn’t believe him, but he hasn’t given up yet. She’s slow, though, and when she sinks down onto him… He really might not last. Not when he can feel how hot she is, how much she wants this, and when she rocks her hips, he thinks he might just lose it.

Instead, he grabs her, grabs her by her hips, his fingers digging in, and he pulls her close, so close she can’t get away, his arms going around her to hold her still.

She doesn’t move in response, just stays still, and his grip slowly relaxes. He really is so close, his breaths coming out in ragged moves, and he forces his eyes open, to look at her.

“What were they sitting like? Like this, or?”

“His legs were up, so she could lean against them.”

It makes sense in his mind, and his legs bend, giving Jyn the ability to lean back some, back onto his legs. The angle shifts, and suddenly Jyn is sucking in a breath, her back arching off of his legs, as though something is hitting just right.

“Good?” he asks, and she’s nodding, her body resting on his legs, her on his knees.

When he looks down her body now, he can see where they’re connected, can see beneath the dark hair exactly what he has been looking for. He can’t possibly get any harder than he already is, and he wants to feel her cum… he wants her to get off before he does, but he needs her help.

She isn’t looking, and he just - goes for it. Two fingers together, he slides them down where they are joined, underneath the hair, and finds a hard little budd, right in front of where his cock is. She tightens around him immediately in response, and he lets out a groan as Jyn lets out a shriek.

Whatever he just did, he did it right.

“Good, or?”

“Not as hard,” she breathes out, and he nods, lightening is touch, “-but more than that.”

He wants to do this right, at least this first time, wants to learn with time, but time isn’t on their side. She’s actually splayed out in his lap, his cock is buried deep in her, and if he wants her to get off, he needs help.

“Show me,” he says, and she groans a little, runs her hand down her body, in between her legs, brushing his hand aside. He grabs at her wrist, though, and pulls it out of the way, replacing her hand with his own once again. “No, use my hand. Use my hand to get yourself off.”

Her eyes open suddenly, her head tiling forward, and he thinks she might want to kiss him… except this angle is literally perfect, and he doesn’t want to lose this.

His fingers press against her clit again, rolling around the nub, and then her hand grabs his wrist, slowly working it forward and back.

“Separate your fingers a tiny amount,” she instructs, and he does so. Almost immediately, he can feel the difference, how he’s no longer pressing directly on it, is instead moving around it, the pleasure seemingly spread. 

She doesn’t have any other instructions for a few moments, just using his fingers, and then she shifts her hips from side to side, drawing another groan from him. He can’t last like this, and it already feels like he’s on edge. Next time they do this, he’s going to finger her first, and fuck it, he’ll tie her down ( with permission ) so that he can explore everything that makes her moan.

Maybe he should start watching holoporn to get ideas…

“Can I touch your breasts,” he asks, and it suddenly hits him how hard he’s breathing. She tightens around him again, and he doesn’t want to groan, but really, he’s only one man.

“Please?” she asks, and her hold on his wrist has lightened. He’s rubbing at her now, trying to keep up the pressure, trying to keep his hand relaxed, but he presses too hard and gets a hiss. “Pointless, told you it was-”

“Shut up,” he groans, and he leans forward, licking her nipple. “Going to make you - I can. I can do it.”

He doesn’t want to hear her say again that her pleasure is pointless, because all he wants is to make her scream.

“You can’t,” she insists, and she’s crying a little now, almost in frustration. “You shouldn’t have to, it’s me, I’m the-”

His free hand moves to her mouth, covering it, and he feels her tighten around him in response as his palm flattens over her lips, keeping her from speaking anymore. The look he gives her tells her that he’s done, doesn’t want to hear it again, and when he moves his fingers again, he pinches the little bud a bit, then rubs gently, making her jerk her hips again.

That’s it. That’s what it is. He can do this, just like this, the little bit of roughness with taking his time.

“You’re going to cum,” he hisses, and he bites at the nipple he just licked, teeth tugging at the sensitive point before he moves over to the other one, his lips wrapping around it so he can suck. When he pops off of it, stretching her slightly, he looks up again, looks her directly in the eye.

“You’re going to cum for me.”

In all honesty, Cassian doesn’t know what to expect. He knows that women don’t shoot out their cum as men do, but he knows that there is some liquid. He knows that they feel it, that they can have multiples of them, but he doesn’t really know what they do. He knows that his own orgasms are in the fresher, hand on his cock, trying to be as silent as possible.

What he gets is outside of his imagination.

One second she’s fine, breathing hard, the next, he feels like his cock is being gripped by a hand, tensing and pulsing around him, and she lets out a scream against his hand. He releases her mouth immediately, and just watches, watches as her lips part and her eyes roll back in her head, and he-

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, oh fuck-”

He can’t help it, he really can’t help himself, his hips jerking in response, and his free hand moves to her hip, grabbing her so hard he thinks he might be leaving bruises in her skin. He jerks in response, a few shaky thrusts, and then he’s cumming so hard, his own eyes are rolling back in his head, and he can’t, he can’t breathe, he can’t even see-

She’s still whimpering, shaking against him, when he realizes what just happened.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I tried, but I-”

“Shut up,” she gasps, and Jyn wraps her arms over her chest, falling forward into him, her forehead pressing against his neck. 

He’s not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, isn’t sure if she’s mad at him, if she’s hurt, and his hands go out to either side of him, not touching her, waiting for her response. He knows he was bossy, probably didn’t touch her right, definitely dug too hard into her skin, but she’s… she’s not pushing him away, only getting closer.

He’s literally not moving, scared he might do something else wrong.

“Put your arms around me, Cassian,” she mutters against his neck, and he… goes with it, because he’s still not sure what’s going on, doesn’t understand why she wrapped herself up with her own arms, but he’ll go with it. He’s careful, one arm loosely around her hips, the other over her back, and she cuddles in tighter. His dick is still sensitive and half hard, but with her shift, he slips out of her.

There’s a mess, he can feel it on his stomach, leaking from her, coming from off of him, but he doesn’t mention it, doesn’t move, still too stiff to move. He had blown it, literally. Somehow, he was sure he had managed to fuck this up.

“Stop thinking,” she huffs against him. “Stop being so tense. You just had sex, with your girlfriend, who you love. Just… just relax.”

He’s trying to, he really is, but it’s hard when he has literally no idea if it was any good.

“I… are you okay?”

Her head pops up, eyes thin, and she’s looking at him like he grew another head. “I just… I just had an orgasm on your dick. I just had the first orgasm of my life that I didn’t cause. What do you mean  _ are you okay _ ?”

He’s not really sure how to respond, but he feels sheepish now, his hand falling from her back to rub at the back of his neck.

“I just… I didn’t… last…”

“It was your  _ first time _ ,” she says with a sudden burst of laughter, and he’s pretty sure he was supposed to last longer… but first time might matter.

“So it was okay?”

Her hands come up to grab his face on either side, forcing him to look at her, and she shakes her head a little.

“You karking idiot… Cassian, it was better than okay. It was really  _ really _ good.”

He blinks and nods his head, because okay, really good, that’s good.

“So you liked it?”

She just groans in response, shifting off of him, and yeah, there’s a mess of fluids on his stomach. A part of him is grossed out… a part of him wonders what it tastes like.

“Get cleaned up,” she says, walking into the fresher. “We’re going to sleep, and you don’t want to sleep with that on you. In the morning, we can work on improving any areas that you think are lacking.”

He nods at that, getting off the bed, following her into the fresher. He freezes, though, when he realizes that the bravado, the grins, all of it is gone from Jyn, and she’s gripping the sink, her head bowed slightly.

Now, it’s not about him, not about his performance. There’s something deeper here…

“Jyn… Jyn, what’s wrong?” he asks softly, and his hands touch her shoulders, run down her arms.

Her eyes close in the mirror, and he looks at them, watches as he presses a kiss to her ear. She’s smiling a little at that, and he knows that whatever it is, it can’t be too bad.

“I’ve just… it’s never been with someone that matters,” she confesses. 

He kind of already got that impression earlier, but hearing her say it… he kind of has to respond. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs against her jaw, and he presses another kiss there. “For showing me, teaching me… for being… you.”

He wants to thank her for being his first, but there’s a part of him that hopes she’s also his last, his only.

Jyn turns in his arms, smiling at him, and her fingers run into his hair, brushing the strands out of his eyes. “Next time, we’ll try it with you on top?”

He likes the sound of that, but then his cheeks go red at the thought of spreading her out and exploring her with his mouth first.

“What?” she asks, and she’s breathless already.

Instead of answering, he just shakes his head. 

“Get cleaned up. We’re going to need our rest.”


End file.
